World AIDS Day

World AIDS Day, December 1st, has always been something for which I enjoy programming.  I was thrilled this year when I was called and asked to be a partner in sponsoring for a World AIDS Day program.  We then partnered with several other student groups and what I imagined to be a small program, grew to something much bigger than I imagined.

Once I had an idea of how big we wanted the program to be, I started contacting companies who I knew were connected to the AIDS charities and community.  MAC, who has created the Viva Glam Campaign volunteered several of their consultants in order to provide make-overs for students.  We used their Viva Glam lipstick to 'kiss' students, (draw an AIDS ribbon on student's cheeks), and the student organization who kissed the most students was able to chose the local charity we'd be donating the proceeds of the events to.
After contacting MAC, I got in touch with Aldo.  After some back and forth discussion with them they were able to donate to us 100 This Is Not A Drill canvas bags.  We asked for a donation in any amount and then gave away the bags to those who contributed.
We also had a bake sale to raise money, which added to the donations we could give to a local charity.
As part of the event, we also had a human statistic demonstration.  In the United States, every nine and a half minutes a new person is diagnosed with HIV.  So, every nine and a half minutes a student walked into the dining area with a red shirt on and a red balloon tied to his/her wrist.  At the end of the two hours, 13 students walked into the dining area representing 13 newly diagnosed cases of HIV.  They stood on the stairs overlooking the dining hall and gave a speech about the statistic and what we can do to help change those numbers for the better.
I was proud to be a part of this successful event and feel as though we did make a difference on campus.  Educating students, especially on this campus, is tricky.  Getting their attention is a challenge; we have to fight over the iPods and cell phones and generally we lose, but I do believe we 'kissed' a number of students that day.  Raising awareness is the most important piece to changing the statistics.  We all have to start somewhere and I hope this event helped the USD campus.

Journals--Windows to the Soul

I used to be a writer.  Or so I say now.  I suppose in a way I've always been a writer.  I have a tendency to fall asleep at night by creating stories in my mind.  I also spend my time in the shower doing the same thing.  Come to think of it, the car, too.  I used to think that these stories would be something I could write down and someday sell in a bookstore.  Now, those ideas have taken a backseat to a career in student affairs.

Once upon a time, however, a few people did believe in my ability to write and enjoyed the stories I created and shared with them.  Over the years, I've been given plenty of journals by friends and family as gifts and I generally write a few things in them before giving up, stowing them in a pile in my closet, and waiting until i receive a new one or am too depressed to know what to do with my feelings.

Generally, that's all these journals are--outlets for me to express my sadness, confusion and teenage angst.  I'd quote some things on here, but I can't embarrass myself that much.  One of the journals contains several pages of poems that I now look back on and question what message I was trying to send.  The most unique one I own, however, was given to me by an old friend.  I know there's a lot of love in it; I can feel it every time I open it.  The friend who gave it to me spent spring break down in New Orleans, LA helping rebuild homes after Katrina devastated the area.  While she was there, she had this created for me.
The front reads in Spanish:

 Solo espero la noche para poder sonarte.

The back:

Jamie

 Lost moon in the deep dark blue eternal night and new life for the poet

These journals, now more a keepsake than anything else, were what helped me get through my years in high school, and a few even through my years of college.  This particular one has very little writing in it.  I once started a novel about four characters looking back on their lives and how they met and what brought them to be only three.  Each of these characters were based loosely on some friends I had in high school--one based on a friend who passed away from cancer a few years ago.

I remember the day I wrote the scene in my journal.  I was having such a terrible day, stressed with the relationship I was in that was failing, and decided to head to my favorite place to de-stress.

I'll share my secret with you all.  There's a road by my home in New Jersey and it's fun to drive, especially when blasting music in the car.  So, that's what I did on this particular day.  I drove to my favorite spot on the road and parked my car to walk down to the bridge over the water.  I remember it being autumn because the ground was a little cold to sit on, but I did it anyway.  I wrote for a while about the main character and her struggle to deal with her sadness, which helped me deal with mine.  And, I suppose, that's how it's always been for me.  When I'm sad I write or create stories in my head.

It's made me think about the students I advise, or will advise in the future.  Having an outlet--a safe, productive outlet--is important to being successful.  Taking a break, dealing with stress and growing are important at any point in life, but learning how to do that while in college will make the years go by smoother.  Students who don't connect with their feelings, be it through writing, music, exercising, etc. may make poor decisions and never truly understand who they are and what is happening inside of them emotionally.

I'm grateful that I had the opportunity to learn how to do this at a younger age and I hope to be able to guide my students towards the direction of their healthy outlets.

gLeek aLert

So, as it happens, last night I was catching up on Glee and something came up that screamed, "Blog about this topic!!!"  This leads me here...

The episode was fantastic, (music included below if you're up for some great tunes), with Gwyneth Paltrow as the substitute.  Now, I remember as a high school student, if we had a sub we wanted to give him/her a hard time.  I don't even know how subs adapt to that lifestyle, but good for them.  Of course, there were the subs you liked, and the subs who you didn't like; the subs who were fun, and the ones who made you do work.  But this really has nothing to do with my point...

The part of the episode that caught my attention was when Holly Holiday (Paltrow) was talking about how things have changed.  She asked the real teacher, Mr. Scheuster, what he did when his students did something he liked.  He said that he praised them in class.  Holiday said something like, "That's great.  I tweet about them and for those 30 seconds when they first see that, they feel like they're something special, which is all they want."

Now, I know we're talking about high school students, but really, what is a freshman student but a high school student plus 4 months?  This idea and concept isn't completely new to me.  I mean, I'm friends on Facebook with several students with whom I work and friends with even more of my supervisors, faculty members and professors.  I like it when I post a status and one of my superiors 'likes' it or even comments on it, especially when it comes to getting their specific assignment done.  I love it even more when my superiors just post random things on my wall, almost as a friend.  I imagine, if they had Twitter, I would appreciate the same responses.

With all this said, is our world changing and are we ready as the future and current educators?  First, is it appropriate for us, as grad students, to be friends with our superiors?  Do they know too much about us?  Do we know too much about them?  And what about the students we advise?  I work for the Center for Health and Wellness Promotion and I advise a group of students who are supposed to be healthy and make smart decisions.  So, what if I go out for a drink (or 2 or 3) with some friends and post about it on one of my social media outlets?  Am I not leading by example?  What if my direct supervisor sees it?  Do I want my professors knowing that I went for a drink instead of working on their paper, (and what happens when they receive it?  Will they judge how well it's done based on the fact that I spent a night or two avoiding it and they know it?  Would they look at it differently if they thought I spent 5 nights on it versus 3?)?

On the opposite hand, how do we stay connected to the students and our superiors if we don't have social media? I chat with my students on Facebook.  It allows me time to check in with them, especially when they can't stop in the office all the time.  I can also tell how they're doing by their statuses.  I've built up what I consider a more personal relationship with some of my professors and supervisors through Facebook connections and I enjoy knowing that they're human, too.  I can see their struggles just as much as they can see mine and I can provide words of support or humor if I want.  Personally, it doesn't make their influence on my life less of an impact, but more, and I hope that my peers feel the same way.  Twitter allows me to keep in touch with some of the other GAs.  Again, where do I draw the line?  I post some personal things on there and my intention isn't to make them think less of me, but it might do that.
So...will we, as educators, one day need to create personal and professional profiles, (some people might have those already.)?  We already create lists and divide friends, family and students up so they can only see what we want them to see, (personally, why have them on there at all if they can 'see' you?).  Will it become (or has it already) part of the documents that we sign when hired that we can't 'friend' students and colleagues on these social medias?  I suppose only time will tell, but it is clear that things are changing and we have to be careful how we use the things that connect us to each other so as to not blurry those boundaries that make us the educators.

Take a break from your busy day and watch these, then smile!! They're so fantastic.


Here are the two cool performances from the most recent Glee, and one from the week before that stole my heart:

This could be me...

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
David Sedaris
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor Rally to Restore Sanity

Sometimes, I feel like the days get a little too long and there's nothing there to brighten them up.  That's why I read David Sedaris' books.  It's real life with a funny twist.  Well, not my real life, but his real life and situations that most people go through at some point.  And what's life if you can't laugh at a situation or two from time to time?  Boring, that's what life is without laughter.
My secret ambition, behind wanting to work in student affairs, is to write a New York Times Best Seller.  I think it's possible if I could just dedicated more than 40 minutes a week to it.  But, of course, life gets in the way and those things that are funny and would make a great story are actually my life and they're not funny because I'm going through it moment by moment, which is why I read David Sedaris' memoirs, essays and whatever else he throws my way.  He sees situations the way I hope to see them: humorous.  You know, the idea that life won't end due to this one tiny complication and one day we will all look back at this and laugh?  Yeah, I dream of that outlook for some things.  I could live that glamorous author lifestyle, if only I could think of something to write about.  And if only I could find time to write it.  But, alas, something always comes up.
So, since I can't manage to sit down and write for more than 40 minutes a week (every other week), cheers to David Sedaris for making a living out it and making me laugh at the same time.    We could all use a pick-me-up from time to time!

To Author One's Life

I had the pleasure of attending Marcia Baxter Magolda's presentation on Thursday morning.  She really seems to know what she's talking about when it comes to student development and how it relates to student affairs and our journey as higher education professionals.
I know I won't do her justice as I attempt to put the pieces together, so I do apologize for that.  I found it interesting, and true, that what we expect from students is generally over their heads.  It seems as though we're asking them to process information at a level to which they have yet to develop.  This means to me that in classes we're asking students to think at an internal level when we have yet to teach them how to function (and break out of) within the system we create in higher education.  In other words, we've structured this faulty system in which students are required to function in order to get good grades, we don't ever once challenge their concepts of this system, but then we expect deep, meaningful work and thought processes from students.  Why should they do that for us if all they need to do is XYZ to obtain an A in class?  Crazy, right?
I find this applies to office in which I work.  Students, for the most part, come into the Center for Health and Wellness Promotion because the system tells them they have to.  Whether they're at high risk for alcohol and drug use, or just caught at a dorm party, there are certain steps they have to take in order to get back in good standings with USD.  So, in they come (those caught at a party), they sit through a class, and generally that's it.  But then we feel like we're not reaching the majority of students and, of course we're not!!  They just want to work the system!  They're not going to get an epiphany sitting in the required alcohol class!!  They're not there yet developmentally because we, as higher education professionals, have not provided them with learning partnership that will get them there.
So, I look back on my days as an undergrad and think, what opportunities were provided to me that enabled me to leave one stage of development and enter another (along Marcia's stages)?  Or, have I ever really left a stage?  I know that I still sometimes look at a class and wonder, "What do I have to do obtain an A?"  Reverting back to that thinking is easy, especially since I've been out of school for three years.  My undergrad professors never pushed me to the point of letting go of the system, but, as an English major, I found myself pushing the envelope intentionally in classes just because technically, if you have evidence to back it up, you can't be wrong.  So, if I have left that stage and moved to the intermediate stage at some point, what did that look like?  Ah yes, the part where nothing mattered because facts are manipulated and life is all up in the air.  I experienced this towards the end of my undergraduate career.  Not only were my thoughts lost, so were my actions.  I was...like a balloon floating towards the clouds.  If the wind blew me one way, that's the way I'd go.  I did manage to finish school with strong grades, but internally I was a disaster.  I showed this by gaining weight and doing things uncharacteristic of what I now consider to be myself.
I still feel like I'm in a struggle with the end of the intermediate stage and the advanced stage.  The advanced stage is all internal.  It's about creating one's own mind, thoughts and feelings regardless of the outside world and its' influences.  It's also about accepting other's opinions even if you disagree, but still keeping them in your life.  I feel that some of that I've dealt with better than others.  I'm not much for my internal, mushy mess, which is evident in the way I address my feelings.  I find myself explaining situations in which I'm hurt, sad, angry, happy, etc, but never going into what about those situation makes me feel a certain way.  It's a way for me to avoid how I really feel.  I'm working on finding those feelings and addressing them in LEAD 550.  I am pretty good at noticing others, but I fail to place myself within the emotional mix.  It's not something I'm completely comfortable with and is, perhaps, an adaptive challenge I've spent a decent time avoiding.
With all this said, I look at the few students who I advise and try to place them somewhere in the mix of the student development continuum.  They are certainly in a variety of places in their lives personally, which creates an interesting developmental pattern.  I hope to continue to learn about how I can help and influence them in the right ways to get them to become aware of who they and aid them towards finding their internal voice, or as Marcia calls it, authoring their own life, (and, who knows, maybe I'll be able to find mine, too!).

It All Leads Somewhere...

Lately, I find myself having these moments of frustration with the students I advise.  The student group, itself, is a challenge because I know there is a stigma held by college students for those who don't drink, or those who choose to be responsible.  The group is called Campus Connections and their goal is to raise awareness for alcohol and drug use.  Belonging to this group immediate targets my students as 'goody-goodies' because they are the ones who are supposed to be the safe ones--the smart student who had the night planned out.  So, that's obstacle number one.

Number two is that they are over-committed to an assortment of other student groups and areas interest, so I feel that Campus Connections sometimes comes last on the list for some students.  We started this semester as a group of 15 students and are now down to about 5 or 6 depending on the week.  We planned a day and time for the meetings, but most students can't even commit to that each week.  Then, the events we run happen too often so the students can't attend enough of them to make an impact on the greater community.

These issues brought us to our last meeting.  I brought up how much of a struggle I was having getting enough Campus Connections members in the office to make a difference.  I told them that I was grateful to have the few of them here regularly, but that we need a plan.  First, I learned that none of them are friends or even bother to connect outside of the meeting times.  Clearly that's an issue because if you aren't connected, you have little desire or drive to hold each other accountable.  Next I learned that last year they weren't asked to do as much, so it's almost as though they've joined a different club this year with how much my boss and I are asking of them.  They want to divide and conquer the projects, but with only about 5 members, it's impossible.  They decided on their own (thank goodness) that it was time to recruit new, committed and excited members who could help be the faces of Campus Connections.

For the first time since I started this advising position, I really felt like the pulled together and made some great breakthroughs on their own.  They recognized and pointed out their own short comings as a group, plus they came up with some ideas as to how to work through the problems.  I was proud of them!

National Collegiate Alcohol Awareness Week was our biggest project of the semester, occurring from October 17-22.  Campus Connections did a great job of getting out there and spreading the word.  Unfortunately we were rained on during our biggest event: The Kick Off of the Designated Thinker campaign.  As a group, we decided that we really needed something, a saying, that was ours and showed off who we really were as a group.  The students spent a good deal of time thinking about it, and in the end, Designated Thinker was voted on as the favorite.  We launched the campaign with t-shirts, water bottles and sweatbands boasting the phrase Designated Thinker.  The idea behind the words is that the designated thinker is a step up from designated driver, (which most students were at least able to make that connection!).  The designated thinker of the group is the one who watches out for all those you go out with.  S/he stays sober and lets friends know when they've had enough to drink, prevents them from making unsafe decisions, etc.  The goal was to start getting students to be aware of the idea and hopefully practice it when they go out.

I felt that it was a pretty successful kick off.  I was so pleased to let the Campus Connections members know that they had a front page news article in the school paper, (in which I was quoted!)! 

"The focus of the week was really to make students aware of the true campus norms.  We want students to be safe and understand the concept of a Designated Thinker.  It may mean something different to everyone, but either way, that person is the one who looks out for the group and makes sure that each person is making smart, safe decisions.  The goal is not only to reduce underage drinking at USD, but also to reduce the unsafe practices that happen when drinking is involved.  Campus Connections hopes to continue to raise awareness throughout the year, as well as offer a safe space for students to go if they have questions or need someone to talk to."

When I texted the students to let them know, I was amazed at how quickly and how many of them responded.  I'm beginning to think that recognition like this is really the fuel they need to keep the fire burning inside of them.  They signed up for this group because they believed in the cause, now I just need to be patient and learn what they need to continue to fight for it.

GYT and Julian apple pies

I had the opportunity of being a part of the Greater Than Yourself (or Greater Yourself Than, depending on your nametag) retreat this past weekend. There were representatives from IFC, Pan-Hellenic, LiNK, Emerging Leaders and some other UF groups. I was asked very last minute to attend, but looked forward to it because I still felt that I hadn’t made many connections with students. Plus, I was going as the only grad assistant/facilitator, so I thought it would be a good chance for me to get closer with some of the directors from different departments. In doing all of this, I feel like I really grew and developed, plus helped so many students open their eyes to who they are as people and as leaders.
The retreat was broken down into three pieces (following the model of GTY): Expand Yourself (learning your roots and identities), Give Yourself (what are you good at, what can you give to the community?) and Replicate Yourself (GTY project!). The next three paragraphs break down what activities we did to represent the different pieces.

Expand Yourself:
They began by learning just how hard it is to be successful if they were competing against each other instead of communicating. The next day we dove deep into identities, pushing people out of their comfort zones. A few students were crying by the end of our morning activities, but it was easy to see that for the first time these students were dealing with where they came from and the privileges they’ve taken on (or been given). Watching as students learned how being white is a privilege, and/or being male, and then that connection they make with what they can do to make a difference is rewarding. Even just the connection they made with being a USD student is gratifying.

Give Yourself:
They continued to open their minds as they learned different leadership styles and what worked for them versus what was completely opposite. I highly participated in this event and learned quite a bit about my own skills and how they’re limited, helpful, distracting, etc and how I could use that knowledge when working in groups, which I found helpful. I know in this activity I was less observant with how the students reacted and more focused on how I could apply what I learned to my personal things. They also did a lot of reflection on the skills they each had and how that could really help when working in their communities.
This night included the fantastic 'Adan Show' during which the students played Extreme Minute to Win It.  They were so much fun to watch.  Adan came up with some fantastic ideas for them!  The weekend, however, would not have been complete without some amazing Julian apple pies, so 6 pies later, we had some happy, full students.

Replicate Yourself:
On our last day there, we all committed to finding a GTY project. Each student was asked to identify one student they felt they could really help grow into a successful leader. I’m still looking for mine, but I’m excited at the prospect of building a student into a better, more effective leader. The purpose behind this being that it is so important to lift people up ahead of us, not hold them back because we’re afraid of them being better than us. 

The weekend was truly a success in all aspects: not only did I meet 26 new students and got closer with the staff, but those students walked away from that retreat with a new view on leadership. The first night was a bit trying as they tried to figure out what they were doing in Julian , CA, but most of them remained open minded to the experience even if they didn’t quite understand it. I do think a few of them walked out of there with a more open mind. My proof being some of their Facebook comments.